Letter 10

Sweeties,

I totally love you guys because your last e-mails gave me the idea for my research concentration. And now its final- it will be a culture study of HST farms and a comparative analysis of the four HSTs we know of. I know other HSTs exist but then, in research we have to be indicative.

I will compare the fertility of the brains of HST-ans and they must be having a lot of fertilizer deposited on their bodies because you know HST-ans do not bath. Yes! They have taken upon themselves to conserve water on behalf of rest of the world.
They only bath once a year- on Holi. That too, because, they feel that chemicals in those colours shall destroy the natural fertilizer multiplying on their skin. YUCKS!

By the way, Sec- do you take bath? During winter, especially? It is difficult to trust you do, considering even you are very sensitive to environmental issues.
Cos- I am impatient to know if the green shirted fat man sang the song as sophisticatedly as Mika?

As a matter of fact, anything connected to guitar makes me slightly high. No. I don’t stand up on the bench or something when I see a guitar- but I feel something special working out in my body and soul. No HST-an I know can play guitar. Not even Dugald with his musical inclinations. (Dugald seems to have become quite popular too- both of you cross referred to him in your mails!!) I guess that’s why guitar still sounds so musical anyway.

There is another musically inclined HST-an I know. From HST-Fire. He makes paper planes. The one’s that don’t fly. The one’s that crash even if they do. I can foresee a bright day when Rehan will take over the water with his boats and Rohan (that’s this fellow’s name) shall take over the air. What will we be left with then? I wonder. I wonder.

Rohan is a curly haired, chubby cheeked child of two rich human beings. So, by the virtue of that he is a human too, at least genetically. I have no idea if they undergo mutation in HST but presuming he’s still human I can tell you he is an extremely horny specimen. He wants to mate like flies and there are very few human females whom he does not find hot. And what’s more, he writes limericks instead of answers in his semester papers, gets terminated and re does the exam and re writes limericks.

I met him first in the season of summer when HST-ans are let out in groups to fend for themselves. And then the rest is too fiery to be divulged in this mail because you have asked me about my non-HST-an whereabouts too.
Now HST is the place where you find the maximum freaks, but it is by no means the only place to find freaks.
Last year I encountered a large eyed guy called Bassanio and started hanging out with him. He had a squeaky voice and eerie opinions about all things but seemed largely nice hearted. Among other things he took delight in the fact that my good name Tania rhymes with Portia, the name of Bassanio’s love interest in The Merchant of Venice. I failed to understand why it was so relevant but he was very confident that he was sending across a secret code through the message. Another day he asked me if I can cook biriyani, I said that I can only cook hot water and that dissatisfied him. In fact, he took offence.

I did not understand back then why cooking of hot water put Bassy off. Now I know his secret. Guess what… like HST-ans he is environment sensitive too. In fact he was the initiator of don’t take bath movement! He invited me to join in but I felt that I can criticize the movement better from a distance rather than getting directly involved. But I did go to a parade in its support and I recommend both of you to support the cause. I can give you Bassy’s contacts too if you want to get it- and Sam and Nike don’t have to be insecure about your getting in touch with Bassy for Bassy is a very gay guy, not malicious at all and he does no one no harm.

I am looking forward to your support, till then, I am busy counting the number of times a certain HST-an buzzed me over the last couple of months. Will tell you the results soon.
By the way Sec, does your roomie really want Sam that badly? Then give him to her. I tell you there shall always be more HST-ans.


Love and Satan Bless,
Tan.